We spent six years together in a band. For those who don't know, that is a unique and powerful kind of friendship. Not having seen or heard from him in at least five years, I was happy to find a few days to visit him up at his new home in Door County this past summer. Steve went through some personal changes and decided to punt on city life after retiring from his union job. I was really looking forward to reconnecting with him. It would never have crossed my mind to drive up there in my car. I would have been too busy. No time. In all honesty, turning this into a ride was the only reason I was able to make it happen.
Morning found cloudy skies threatening rain. That was pretty much the weather the whole weekend. Always a threat of rain, but not much actually fell.
And we’re off, through northern Illinois into Wisconsin with open roads and good speeds. About a 6 - 7 hour ride moving time.
For me, friendship has always been a varied experience. Casual acquaintances would say I am outgoing, while those who know me better would say I am often guarded. Most agree I am a bit surly and a pain in the butt.
I like the people close to me and enjoy time with them; but that number seems to be getting a little smaller as I get older. I do have passion for life and those around me. At the same time, I am usually just as happy being away by myself. Often, I prefer it. Plenty of random things to think about for days on end.
The bike performed great the entire trip. Here, loaded with a pretty affordable bag I received for father’s day. The cover worked well when the rains came down – everything stayed dry.
I think I used to crave being around others - always. To laugh loudly, debate issues, talk about anything. The perfect Sunday used to be a sunny day with a large group of friends. Frankly, these days it would be a rainy day with my wife and kids together and nothing scheduled other than family dinner. Or the kids out of the house and the day with my wife. Or being with a small group of friends. Or riding alone on the bike into foreign lands.
Like Cheeseland. It is populated by a vast number of inhabitants called Cheeseheads. On several Sundays a year, they congregate in this coliseum to perform religious ceremonies.
Much of my life has been spent in bands. Rock n’ Roll, Blues, bad wanna be jazz, you name it. Those have always been some of the strongest friendships in my world. I left my last band in my late 30’s due to too not enough time. I spent most my nights at the rink or on the ball field with my boys. Still do. Great decision, and I don’t regret it at all. Still, sometimes I miss those guys.
Heading further north, I thought more and more about past friendships. I don’t think they are friendships lost, just on hold. Surely most would be instantly revived with the first phone call or meeting. That’s how it was with Steve. I called him out of the blue after probably five years of not touching base. A few discussions over schedules led to this trip, and I was looking forward to seeing him again.
In Door County, the landscape shows some of the layers of exposed bedrock so common in the upper Great Lakes.
I think other friendships, though, are not put on hold but rather abandoned. Walked away from, given up on, cast off. Not due to any ill will or harsh feelings, but rather apathy and neglect. Don't know if that is a sad thing or not, but I am pretty sure thinking about stuff like that brings me down.
As the GPS got me near Steve’s house, I saw Lake Michigan.
He had a pretty darn good view of it too. This is from his front porch with the clouds actually opening up and showing a touch of blue.
Well, big hellos and a few cusses later, we were instantly back in full swing. Parked the bike until tomorrow and unloaded some AK47 rounds in his back yard while we sipped cold refreshments. Great to see that guy again.
He has a beautiful country home with several rustic outbuildings in back like this one. Real magazine article spread he has here. The deer he shot last season was less than 50yds from his house.
After a while, we headed out for the night. Met some great folks and had a great time.
So, here’s Steve in his new natural environment. He is enjoying being retired from his job in the city, working a little part time, and forging some new friendships up here.
After a nice home made breakfast, it was time for me to go. It was great to see Steve and catch up on things enjoying yet another long evening together. There were certainly plenty of those in our past to build upon.
Morning found the road foggy as well.
Long ride home with plenty on my mind. Seeing Steve made me think a lot about that time in life. Pretty much the time my wife and I were just starting a family up to the boys being 7, 5, and 1. We had a lot of friends then that are no longer in the picture, but some still are.
Thinking further to the band before that and all those guys down in Bloomington. What a crew that was. I spent 8 years driving around the midwest in a cube van with those guys from age 22 – 30. Crazy stuff with countless gigs and nearly as many dawn barbeque breakfasts at our old house by the railroad tracks. At least that's how I remember it.
The band before that – wow. Teen years into early 20’s. The whole outfit moving down to my college town for a couple of summers. Talk about energetic youth and unsupervised fun!
I am fortunate to have many new friends. Some at work. Mostly families from our kids’ activities. A lot of nice people that should be more enticing to me than an afternoon alone. Sometimes yes. Often, no.
Here is one new friend I would like to make. I knew this bike was at a dealer in Kaukauna, WI with 200 miles on it. I would have felt guilty riding a zero mile bike, but I am definitely interested enough in buying for a test ride on a 200 mile bike. Nice, fun, not nearly as much torque as the big pig Vulcan 1600, but could definitely see touring the country solo or to Alaska or Baja on one of these. Big grin factor in a 10 - 15 mile test drive. Pretty much on my route home too – man, am I happy I stopped in.
I think whether relatively new friends after a second or third hockey season together, or people I’ve known for 20 or more years, the milestones, familiarity, shared experiences, and so much more really serve to strengthen the bonds that tie. I feel close to many old friends even if separated by years and years.
Here is a milestone pic of the Kaw turning 8,000 on the way home. Past 11K now. Really officer, I wasn’t speeding OR texting. Just taking a pic….
And so often, it’s great to see familiar faces like the familiar sights nearing home.
If only to goof around a bit and blow verbal raspberries at each other, so to speak.
I have been back to riding for two summers. In that short time there has been a very real impact. The only reason I got up to visit Steve was the bike. There was another visit this summer to a friend that was very much the same. Last summer, I got back in touch with a buddy lost for almost ten years who lives only 1 1/2 hours from our house. The bike has been the reason or excuse to see him several times. Our kids now know each other and we have gone camping a few times with the boys.
My feelings on being social haven't really changed, but riding has gotten me back in touch with some great people. Just another reason to get back out there. To make the next trip. Maybe just out there alone. Or maybe with one of my sons. Or a road to another seemingly lost friend that really is just as close as ever. To just head off and ride.
